I TOLD MYSELF I WOULDN’T DOWNLOAD TRON: LEGACY BEFORE I BOUGHT IT ON APRIL 5TH. BUT THEN I WATCHED TRON 1982 THIS MORNING… NEEDLESS TO SAY, LEGACY IS DOWNLOADING RIGHT NOW. I KIND OF HATE MYSELF FOR IT, BUT I KNOW I’M GOING TO ENJOY THE SHIT OUT OF MY VIEWING EXPERIENCE.
Every time I dive in my pool.
It's hard to be humble
When I do the breast stroke through an underground tunnel.
And come up on the other side in a jacuzzi
Being greeted by two naked models with suds on thay booties. ಠ_ಠ
They give me hugs and lots kisses and they ask me what my wish is— I say, “Go an’ call yo’ bitches, 'cause there's gonna be a party.” Next they wash my body as a teeeam, and then they say, “Foo, your royal penis is clean.”
Mum: “So you’re staying in tonight?” Me: “Yeah. But tomorrow night I’m having a dance party.” Mum: “You’re going dancing?” Me: “No, I’m having a dance party.” Mum: “Oh. So you’re cleaning the downstairs?” Me: “Yes. To dance.”